5/29/18 - Big Boy Bed
I am almost two feet long now days. My little ECMO bed wasn't quite big enough anymore, so this morning my girlfriend brought in a nice crib for me. It's a Big Boy bed! After I got cozy and settled in, she read me books and loved on me some, before Mommy came. I like that. Mom does too; that the nurses are very sweet and lovey to me. I know they are working, but I'm not (lol). I'd be sad if they didn't like me, but they do...very much. Everyone here at the hospital is friendly and sweet to me. They are like my family now that I have been here as long as I have. Today was my 96th day in the hospital; I have been here at CHW for 77 days; 63 days on the heart transplant list. It has really flown by. Mom said she feels like she just had me yesterday. Anyhow, I really like my new bed. It's roomy and the mattress is a little bit more cooshier. I can sprawl out as wide as I want too now! And I will!
About noon today, my girlfriend let Mom take over. I got to sit with her again and snuggle. She always get so teary eyed when she holds me. I know it's because she loves me very, very much...she tells me that. I know too, that even though she tries to hide it from me, she is very scared right now about everything. I understand that. I am scared sometimes, too, but Dad and I have to be tough to get thru all of this he tells me. It is wonderful & scary right now; things are really quite pleasant and I seem well, but it seems like every time (in the past) that I have had good changes happen, bad things follow soon after. I've talked about this in previous blog posts. Even though she doesn't believe it, Mom's doctor said she deals PTSD from my birth and all of this (we aren't supposed to talk about it, Dad says she doesn't agree). I am too little to understand or feel what that is like; thankfully. I listen to Mom and Dad talking sometimes, watching their faces, and I pick up on these things they don't want me to hear. I am just little, but I read peoples faces and know what their emotions are now; i think? I know how to express myself better now, too; speaking of all that! It was funny last night, because when my girlfriend for the night time came in and I had so much new stuff to show and tell her. My voice is healing up and I kinda sound like a dinosaur, but I made the best pouting face that I could to show her I had a long day. I also use my hands a lot when I have to tell people stuff, so they can understand me better (since I can't talk yet and all). I am learning to communicate.
I had something that I really wanted to talk about tonight, but I can't remember. So, off to bed I go. Until tomorrow. Please keep praying for my heart gift to come soon!