6/11/18 - My Re-Intubation Day

My Mom was a wreck and cried when she got the call that I would have to have my breathing tube put back in today; that I had to be "re-intubated". She re-gained her composure before arriving. She told me that Her and Dad just want me to know how proud they are of me for trying so hard. I did try hard. I did my very best. I'm just not strong enough to do it all. Digestion, breathing on my own, etc...it's too much for someone with a broken heart. We decided as a family that this is a good thing. A step backwards to hopefully take a step forward. Know that 10-20% of critically ill patients who are extubated will be re-intubated within 72 hours; I made it a week. Re-intubation is often performed emergently, a situation in which complication rates are as high as 24%! I could easily be in a much worse situation if we were to wait. That is the reason my care team decided today was the day I "fell under the line" and that I should be re-intubated now instead of emergently later on. I was not doing that great extubated. I talked to you about how my resting heart rate was high, my renals were lower and my breathing was a lot of work...how this all became very apparent over just a few days. We did find that my cultures for any infections came back clean. So, at least I am going into this re-intubation situation with a fresh start. I'm at a high risk for Nosocomial pneumonia, now, again. Please pray I don't pick up that. Hopefully I can get used to the big ventilator tube, again, fairly quickly. Here is my before picture:

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Mom arrived early today to make sure she could be here to pep-talk me and be here for my procedure. She held my hand and told me I was very brave. I get told that a lot. I think I can be brave sometimes. I do get scared sometimes, too, though. I had one of my favorite girlfriends and my RT Bro-dude there to keep me safe. I trusted them and the procedure went smoothly. After waking up from the sedation, I noticed immediately that I just felt relieved. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I let the ventilator breath for me and then, did my own breathing too; taking turns. It’s nice to not work so hard. I will have to be sedated a while and let my body adjust. I will be groggy a couple days or so I imagine. The new tube will be annoying to me and I'll hate it like I used too, but I know what to expect and will do my best to be strong and brave thru this adversity. Please pray for me today. Pray this all turns out well. Pray I can do this! Man, being sick is so hard! Here is me after:

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I just keep repeating to myself that I am going to be okay and everything will work out. I’m in the best place I can be. The right place and they are doing what’s best for me to keep me safe. I am strong. I am brave. I am courageous. 

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