6/21/18 - Ol’ Doc-a-rooskis

They look at me, then at my nurse, then at Mom...it’s the eyes. Those Doctor eyes. I know they are smarter than us and that trusting them is the only way to live thru this harsh, unjust reality that we are in. At the same time though, I think Doctors are strange creatures. I’ve got all kinds of them here; bunch of Ol’ Doc-a-rooskis. Everyone seems to know me pretty well now. After all, I have been here a hot minute. Some of the Doctors come in with bright eyes, even on a rough day...they usually talk to me, telling me “Hello” and that they will take good care of me. Usually the bright eyed Doctors are the easy going ones. They break bad news, changes in my care and other updates to Mom in a way that makes things feel “worth it”. Like, a set back is ok and is only a step forward, that kind of explanation. Those are also the doctors that come in and play with and coo at me to cheer me up. I enjoy that. Other doctors are all business and come to get things done. They spit it out, do things quickly and carry on. Those are the best when I’m having a rough day because they don’t bug me too much and fix me up quickly if they can. Then, there are the doctors that look at me with sad, pittying eyes. Those doctors are usually very empathetic. They will tell my parents how much they “feel” for us in our situation and usually over explain everything. Dad likes that those kind of doctors. They are all amazing though. I think that mix of so many different personalities is great. Two heads are better than one, Mom tells me. 

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The doctors are only a part of the “care team” I’m am always talking about. It truly does take an army. Even to care for a little man like me! My doctor, a bright eyed one, stopped in to talk to Mom today. He said a few miscellaneous updates and then discussed my ailing heart. I’ve been having issues, as you know, with my heart rate and temperature getting high into dangerous ranges inconsistently over the last week or so. He said he thinks my heart (not in these exact words) is weakening. It’s not good. He asked that I stay on TPN a few days and not be fed into my tummy; to rule out any issues. No chocolate milk for me, again. Ha! He also ordered an ultrasound be done today, looking at all of my veins, arteries, lines, etc... This is to check for blood clots. We don’t have results back from the pictures taken, just yet, but, it is possible there could be a clot that is contributing to my symptoms. Just a thought, though, for now. The tech that took the pictures was in my room a long time. She took tons of pictures. I peeked at Mom and sucked on my fist, trying not to wiggle too much for her.

I had a pleasant day today. Still fighting Pneumonia,  it is seemingly under control yet. Also, the high numbers were still a battle. I had two girlfriends today, here taking care of me. They got along and didn’t fight over me, too much. I saw a couple stink eyes, though. Ha! They were rockstars and kept on top of my numbers. They kept me real cozy and more importantly, safe, all day. I sat up in my Boppy, cooling pad underneath me yet and visited with everyone. Mom sat with me and wouldn’t leave my toes alone. I don’t think I’ll ever like my feet touched much. It makes me want to kick when someone touches my toes! I’m very ticklish. 

I ended up dozing off and slept a good while this afternoon. I plan too get back to it now. So, good night. Please keep sending me little air heart vibes so I can get better. 💕💕 Love, Heath

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