8/23/18 - Yucky

It’s been an up and down day. Feeds aren’t going very well. Over night I was getting sick with every feeding, throwing up the food and medicine. It was rough. Same goes for today. I hate throwing up. It makes me feel so icky and yuck. Mom always asks my girlfriends to clean my mouth out when I’m done so I don’t have the yucky taste. It helps a little, but it’s still so yucky. I don’t know why this is going so roughly? I’ve had food in my tummy many times thruout my journey, when I was much sicker, too. Why am I having such a hard time now? It could have something to do with not being sedated anymore, I guess? I do not know. 

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The care team stopped my feeds altogether today to give me a break. I’m on TPN and Lipids to give my body the nutrition it needs, thru the line in my leg. So, I’m still getting nutrients, but I need to be able to have actual food so I grow well. And the TPN and Lipids are a little hard on my liver. I’m hoping that as the week ends here and the weekend comes, I will begin to handle the small feeds better. The care team is coming up with a new plan that may include tiny, continuous feeds. I’ll keep you posted on that. 

I tried my best to stay busy and not think about how I felt. I snuggled with Mom and she rocked me a little when I was sad. It made me feel better to be against her. I also watched my mobile and my fishes. They are always a good distraction. I feel yucky. I have a fever today, too, and my white blood cell count is up...we think I have a possible bacterial infection brewing somewhere and that it’s possible it’s contributing to me throwing up so much. I snuggled down in my Boppy and tried to stay warm, but cool and as cozy as I could get on my side. That way if I got sick, the cloth would catch it and I wouldn’t have to move much. I need a good night of deep sleep tonight, some antibiotics and lots of prayers for my health, healing and future. Good night. -Heath

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